Chinese, Canadian, and American Like Me: Book 1 Post 2

American Like Me has become my comfort book. It is light-hearted, humorous, and easy to read. Most importantly, the stories felt genuine and empathetic. In this book post, I will discuss my three favorite stories and why you might want to read this book. 

Story 1 - Jenny Zhang

Shedding lights onto one’s identity through food

Jenny’s story was very relatable to me. She talks about her parents’ habit of prioritizing the economic value of eating over the pleasure of eating, which is a result of growing up in extreme poverty. Her parents would eat until they want to throw up to make the money worth it at an all-you-can-eat. My family was the exact same way. They used to make me feel guilty whenever we went to a buffet, because I have a much smaller stomach than them. I also disliked seafood, the most valuable food at the buffet. They would shake their heads and say what a waste it is to bring me to a buffet. Eating habits are one of the many reasons why Asians have a stereotype for being cheap. In reality, it’s a matter of privilege and perspective. People who are privileged will think such behavior is cheap, while people who grew up without privilege will think such behavior is smart and practical. As Jenny’s family became more financially equipped, they started to prioritize health, taste, and the pleasure of eating. The exact same pattern occurred in my family over the years. 

In a humorous way, her story made me reflect on the idea of abundance in the American (or Canadian in my case) way of life. I still distinctly remember how I was shocked by my friend who spent $50 on a mediocre-looking phone case just because she sort of liked it. I remember going home and passionately sharing the event with my mom, and the two of us would judge my friend together on how irresponsible she was with money. At that moment, I felt proud to have retained my Chinese mindset when it comes to money, and it made me feel more connected to my family who have traditional Chinese values. 

Story 2 - Randall Park

Exploring one’s identity through one’s origin 

Randall’s story discusses his journey to learn more about his parents, given that his parents are very private about their lives before moving to the U.S. Although my parents were never secretive about their past, his story encouraged me to reflect upon how my parents’ stories have affected my identity and who I am. Similar to Randall’s mom, my mom is not a typical Chinese tiger mom. On the contrary, I actually used to joke with my friends that I have a white mom. My mom is the type of person who cuddles with me and tells me she loves me all the time. She’s the type of mom who tells her children to be free, take risks, and pursue whatever we are passionate about. So I am always grateful that she never once discouraged me to work in entertainment, an industry that terrifies many other Asian parents. 

Randall brings up an important point about how learning about your parents’ stories will allow you to not only better understand your own identity, but also find peace with it. Like Randall, I often feel like my identity is confusing. I don’t feel Chinese or Canadian enough to identify with either culture, which is quite frustrating. My mom grew up in a very traditional household in a very traditionally Chinese society, yet she adapted her mindset to implement many Western education ideologies in her parenting as she saw fit. Mindset is the hardest thing to change about a person’s identity, but she managed to change it. This made me realize that instead of struggling to choose one culture over another, I should focus on what values I want to embody as part of my identity, regardless of nationality and culture. Identity is fluid and can be personalized. 

Story 3 - Jeremy Lin

Accepting one’s identity through personal growth 

At first glance, Jeremy’s story is about overcoming the challenge of being the only Asian player in basketball. When I think about it more, his story is actually about how he grew to become more confident, and basketball just happens to be the catalyst to his personal growth. His story inspires me to believe that confidence is the key to reconcile with a person’s identity struggle. Before he gained confidence, Jeremy would let his opponent’s comments about his race and height get into his head, and his doubt in his own identity would interfere with his performance. He didn’t feel like he belonged in the basketball community. However, once he felt more confident in his skills, those comments no longer impacted him. 

I empathize with his journey of growth. When I first moved to Canada, I was not confident about myself. I didn’t feel like I belonged, and the lack of sense of belonging made me try really hard to fit in. Gradually, I found success in academics, volleyball, debate, and other extracurriculars. Once I felt confident in my ability and potential in this world, I never felt the need to try to fit into any friend groups or communities. Before, if I didn’t fit into a community, I would think it’s because other people are better than me. Now, if I didn’t fit in, I simply think it’s because we are different types of people. This change in perception is a result of confidence, and it made me feel at peace with who I am. 

Why you should read this book

• Use of language is simple and humorous

• Features many different people’s stories, so everyone can find their cup of tea

• Each story is only a few pages long and takes 5 minutes to read

• Makes you think about “deep” things using events from each storyteller’s daily lives